ALINA♥JUNRUI

♥ Monday, May 04, 2009

♥ I LOVE YOU ♥

Im not in a good mood or neither in a good mood today. Was wondering did i born rightly in
this house? maybe im just thinking too much, but hey, this is me. I know what im thinking right and i know myself how i feel all this years. You guys are bias as from what i think and see, maybe im not right but i wont be in total wrong too. My tones and my attitude to you all may seems very rude at times, like i didnt treat you all as my blood, just like a outsider or something, but thats not what i think. And, i know and realise that im very rude, i dont know why, i always tell myself to change but i always didnt do it, but i know that i did change a little, im not like what i am the last time. I admit that i treat my friends more nicely than you guys but i still at times respect you all and talk to all of you nicely. I dont know. I just feel that, im so left-out, im like an extra person in this roof, in this world. Those readers who read this post may thinks that im just being too childish, like all the other teenages - being emo, and feel so in need of help, that kind, tell you what, im not! i dont need any advice or comfort from anyone, im just spreading out these words from what im feeling now. I do the housework for my you all, and i feel that you guys dont seems to appreciate it, maybe your do but i just dont realise it, sometimes says im lazy, - YES, i am! Its correct, but not all the time, people tends to get lazy but ya, i still do the things in the house that im suppose to do. And i admit with the words from 'your' mouth that im stupid, useless, which is oh, that i totally agree! Im worse than a primary one kid but it hurts at times, joke - yes but it seems to me that its true from your mouth. Im dumb, and im really is. I cant deny that for sure. I everything also dont know, clueless. My english, my maths, my science, just basically my subjects that i studied, im lousy in it. Im not a smart person but thats ok w me. It hurts me when your mouth open and say in front of my siblings, until so seriously like that. I do
everything i can in this house but ... i dont know what to say, i dont know how to carry on. Im
just simply invisible to everyone. I dont want to continue saying it all out now, i just wanna keep
it to myself. And, i just feel that you guys are acting in front of others at times, so fake. I shall
stop here. No need to be pity with what i wrote, im totally fine.

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